Listening in Love
Being shy was not an issue with me. My parents told me I would talk with anyone anytime anywhere. This helped me when I moved as a teenager because it was hard to leave my friends behind. It also meant I interacted with people of all ages. I guess I should note that being talkative and friendly doesn’t equate to me being the “popular” girl, but rather well known and likeable. It meant that I didn’t really fit into groups all the time because it wasn’t my intention to exclude others. One of my big fears was being seen as snobby.
My fear of being viewed as a snob, meant that I shared my thoughts and feelings with almost anyone. Sharing with anyone is not wise. In fact, the result can be hurtful. When I realized the danger in sharing my feelings with some people, I began to learn how, when and with whom to share my feelings.
My Papa was a wise and trustworthy man; many people use to tell him confidential and personal information. My Papa would listen and sometimes share advice such as the end of his favourite poem, “Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we respond.” I am blessed because I experience the love of others who take the time to reach out and listen to me when I need to share. These friends encourage me to live in love and share the gift of listening with others. As Leo Buscaglia pointed out, “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”
Not only do I experience the power of a listening ear, but I realize the importance of speaking truth in love. I love how Margaret Guenther reminds us, “We all need friends with whom we can speak of our deepest concerns, and who do not fear to speak the truth in love to us.” As difficult as it may be to hear something I need to change, it is for my benefit.
Being a Prayers in Motion instructor, I enjoy the personal interaction I have with my students. The classes are small so I know each student’s name. It is an honour to be trusted by students who share their thoughts, fears, questions and struggles with me. Listening and sharing my personal stories with the women when appropriate encourages them. I am amazed at how much students appreciate my time listening and praying with them.
The amazing thing about prayer is that it goes beyond talking to God – it is listening to Him as well. “Be still and know that I am God” (The Bible, NIV, Psalm 46:10). Taking the time to come to God and listen is tough for me. I am reminded that God is available 24/7. I can reach out to Him, ask Him for direction or share my feelings. In fact, God encourages us to share our frustrations with Him – just like David did many times in the Psalms. I love God’s promise, “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.” (The Bible, NKJ, James 4:8). Relying on my own ideas, I get stressed and anxious. When I slow down and make time in the morning to read the Bible, listen to God throughout the day (yes, God uses people around me to teach me), and before going to bed, I have peace. Combining speaking and listening to God is the essence of prayer – not just repeating words or memorizing things to say to God. I appreciate how Basil Hume explains this concept - “ Holiness involves friendship with God. There has to be a moment in our relationship with God when He ceases to be just a Sunday acquaintance and becomes a weekday friend.” I smile as I see prayers answered. God’s timing and His thoughts are different from mine. He knows what is best for me. I just need to trust Him.
Louisa Phillips 2010
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